Not Larry Dock, Not Moe Dock, But Curly Dock

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, Genesis 1:29

I just ordered 10 seeds for $2.99. They are curly dock seeds. 10 weed seeds for almost three dollars!

Curly dock is a very common plant, so what's the deal? Well, I can't get around like I used to and I just wanted to grow my own. Plus, I think of the people who sell curly dock seeds. I want to buy from them.

Imagine a guy eating supper who looks at his wife with a gleam in his eyes. He says, "You know, I want to quit my job and go into business for myself." His wife asks him what kind of business. He tells her, " I want to sell curly dock seeds."

That's the kind of dream I can really get into. I'd start small. Then when people heard about free food, the orders would start to pick up.

Soon I would have a secretary. Not the kind of empty headed sexy babe like you see in the movies. She would be at least 50, with gray hair, the more gray the better. We're talking wisdom here. She would wear a kind of Ukranian bandana.

Each day she would slowly walk through a big weedy patch in back of my house and talk to the plants. When she selected a curly dock she would deftly pull off the seeds into a little basket. I asked why she always left some on the plant. "I don't want the plant to have lived in vain," she told me. "It went through a lot in a whole season to produce seeds and I don't want to take away all it worked for. Besides, where will next year's plants come from?"

Her name would be Eileen, and I think she was from Scotland originally. In my dream, when she had gathered enough seeds she would bring them into my old fashioned office with a roll-top desk. She would begin to hand address the padded envelopes. She kept the customers' addresses in a wooden box of file cards. She used a stick pen and a crystal inkwell containing green ink.

When she had finished the day's orders, she would look out the window at the sun. "Guess I'll call it a day," she would say. She walked down the gravel lane to the road. No matter what time it was, just as she arrived at the edge of the road, an old bus would stop to pick her up. It was the kind with the engine up front and a luggage rack on top.

I never could figure out the bus thing. We never have had bus service out here in the country, and she was the only passenger. Do you suppose Eileen knew Mary Poppins?

Guess it doesn't really matter, this is just a dream. But each curly dock makes thousands of seeds. At $2.99 per ten seeds, Eileen and I could have had a great business. But as long as someone else has them for sale, I'll be a customer.