In all the books I have read and the movies I have I've watched I have never seen myself portrayed, except one time. That would be Larry, in "The Razor's Edge".
I never looked like Tyrone Power (I was more the Robert Redford type--kidding), but I was once in love with a woman who looked like Gene Tierney. We grew up together and when she moved away, she wrote me a letter saying she had cried herself to sleep--she loved me.
I loved her too. We could connect with just a look, like no one I have ever known. She begged me to go to college, get a good job, so we could marry. I had other ideas. I did not realize it at the time, but I would not be happy with any career on earth, until I found the truth.
It may sound noble, but it's just that nothing in the world called to me. I could not concentrate on anything except my search, even for the sake of love.
We used to ride on my motorcycle on beautiful summer nights. We shared a hammock under a big shade tree. We had our own private jokes. You know what it's like when you are in love.
I got a job as a laborer. She went to college. Her ambition was to marry a Phd, she told people. The next time I saw her she was as cold as ice. I was no longer in the picture.
I found she was an atheist and a materialist. Many years later she still is, though her brother, who became a Christian, pleaded with her. She told someone she now has "fond memories" of me. Way too late.
I just watched "The Razor's Edge"--pretty close to my biography, except Larry went to India and became a searcher for the truth, though never finding it. I stayed near where I had been born, and the Truth found me.