Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Killing Me Softly

This was a big hit by Roberta Flack and I think rightly so, describing a listener's reaction to a song. I never thought it applied to me, but in a way it really does. I went from religion to Christ as a 17 year old. I was so unhappy with myself and the world. Then one night I confessed my rebellion. He was right and I was so wrong. It felt so good to give in.

My English teacher asked me to stay after class. I was puzzled. Had I done something wrong? He burst out, "What has happened to you? You are suddenly so worldly." At the time "other worldly" would have been more appropriate, as lost in poetry, day dreams, whatever. I couldn't explain it, but my teacher picked up on it. I think he meant tolerant.

I was watching some dancers on tv. It was about a theme I cared nothing about. A little while before I might have looked the other way, or even left the room. But now I saw how hard and carefully they worked. I felt sympathy for them. I thought of how many rehearsals they must have had. I remember saying, "They are so good." It was as if someone else had said it. I was changing.

I never talk about the Holy Spirit. You could say I am a Word person, not a Spirit person, if that makes any sense.

But God, the Holy Spirit, was slaying the old me. Simple as that. He did it ,oh so slowly, you would think nothing at all was happening. Like a plant that grows very slow. Some people burst forth like fireworks, fast and as bright. I guess each person has their own way and rate.

Thank you, Lord, for being so patient with me. Molasses in January has been faster than me. Was that a snail that just passed me by?

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