Monday, March 31, 2014

Mr. Smarty Pants on Having Cancer

Dear Smarty Pants,
You comment so favorably on having cancer. Can you really see a positive side to your situation?

S.P. Yes, I can. I no longer have to worry about getting cancer, since I already have it. Also, I no longer am concerned about the effects of diabetes. When my beloved nurse-dietician (Joy Pape) demonstrated how they would start cutting off my toes, I went on an extreme diet for years. Even my very stolid doctor was impressed. But now, it's "Bring on the pineapple Danish!"

Q. You seem to be taking a light hearted attitude. Don't you have any health concerns?

S.P. Sure I do. My biggest enemy right now, is good health. It keeps me away from going to heaven, where I'll finally be happy.

1 comment:

  1. So well stated. This whole concept of trying to stay youthful and eat healthy is so boring. I guess I can see the point of changing one's diet to feel better while they are living on earth, but it will not add one single day to their life. I really believe this "eat healthy" is a scam. Our older relatives never exercised and ate what they wanted in moderation. Some lived a long time, other did not and acquired horrible diseases such as cancer and Parkinson's disease. Gee, I wonder if they had eaten, "healthy" they could have added one single hour to their life!!!