I stole some bricks
When I was six
And I'm afraid to die.
- "The Seven Dreams," by Gordon Jenkins
According to Dianetics (it sounds like an exercise program to me), and later, Scientology, engrams are painful memories which remain submerged until brought to the conscious mind by therapy. I must have a lot of engrams then.
The big trouble is that mine are not submerged at all. When I turn out the light, and try to sleep they seem to come out of the woodwork to torment me. At times I give up trying to sleep and get up again. All kinds of things torture me--dead ones I loved, pets that I lost, and all kinds of horrible, stupid things I have done. How I wish such thoughts would leave me.
But there is a cure, and I am not far from it. It is death, then resurrection in a new body. The Great Erasure is near, and I welcome it.