How to Think, Act, and Feel

There is a cartoon of a man standing before a big vending machine. A sign says, "How to Think, Act, and Feel-50 cents."

A friend of mine has just suffered the loss of her best friend. Her friend, who she had known for over fifty years is now just ashes in an urn. In her crushing grief, she also must endure those who tell her how she should conduct herself, as if she was a child.

I feel we are able to feel and think for ourselves, starting from the time we can go to the bathroom alone. But we do need a source of help that we can turn to, voluntarily, if we choose.

My friend says she hates God, has no hope of heaven, and is no longer a believer. What an opportunity for a know it all to tell her otherwise. I pledge not to be the one that tries to do this.

There is a wonderful story, told by Ruth Stout, a Quaker. As a girl, she looked out a window at her brother burying her pet dog. As she cried, her grandfather said, "Thee are looking out the wrong window." He led her to a window with a view of her rose bush that was beginning to bloom.

What can I do for my friend? Just stand by her, as she would do for me, until she is ready to look out the other window.